Expert Bartending Thoughts

Drunkenness Is Nothing But Voluntary Madness

Instead Of Warning Pregnant Women Not To Drink, I Think Female Alcoholics Should Be Told Not To Fuck

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Visit for Beer or Cocktails?

SAY SOMETHING!

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Enjoy the Times!

Examples Of Interesting Thoughts:

1. Be normal, and the crowd will accept you. Be deranged, and they will make you their leader.
2. Every great man was thought to be insane before he changed the world. Some never changed the world. They were just insane.
3. I don't fail. I succeed at finding what doesn't work.
4. It's always funny until someone gets hurt. Then it's funnier.
5. When in doubt, do it.
6. A crappy life is a great excuse to live a crappy life.
7. The people who make a difference in your life are not the ones with the most credentials, the most money, or the most awards. They are the ones that care.
8. "Losing builds character!" You know who said that? A loser.
9. Laugh, and the world laughs with you. Cry, and the world laughs harder.
10. There's a one-in six-billion chance that you'll find your soulmate. And that's if they're not dead.
11. Learn from your parents' mistakes. Use birth control.
12. Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much.
13. Everyone has an enemy. It's why God gave us baseball bats. Well, He gave us trees, but we knew what He meant.
14. Born free. Taxed to death.
15. I don't suffer from insanity--I enjoy every minute of it.
16. We are brought into this world cold, weak, and helpless. Then it gets worse.
17. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
18. Passion, manners, and 80 ounces of beer will win the heart of any woman. And if it doesn't, you'll be too hammered to remember.
19. If at first you don't succeed, then drag racing isn't for you.
20. Take the time to smell the roses. Sooner or later, you'll inhale a bee and die.
21. No problem is so big and difficult that it can't be blamed on somebody else.
22. Revenge is good. It's what separates us from the animals and the hippies.
23. Whenever you're pissed off, just remember that it's better than being pissed on.
24. Screwed-up people settle fights through violence. Screwed-up people start wars that could kill millions. Normal people settle fights through cookies, cakes, and pies. Normal people are fat.
25. God bless America. But God, please help Canada.

26. Friends teach you what you WANT to know. Enemies teach you what you NEED to know.

27. The only reason for time is so that everything doesn't happen at once.