--- Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?
KINDERGARTEN TEACHER: To
get to the other side.
For the greater good of man.
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature
of chickens to cross roads.
MARX: It was a historical inevitability.
TIMOTHY LEARY: Because that's the only trip the establishment would let it take.
OSAMA BIN LADEN: That chicken knew nothing
of its mission (ha ha ha) only that it would be a martyr.
SADDAM HUSSEIN: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite
justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
RONALD REAGAN: I forget.
JAMES T. KIRK: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
HIPPOCRATES: Because of an excess of phlegm in its pancreas.
DAVE CONSULTING: Deregulation of the chicken's
side of the road was threatening its dominant market position. The chicken was faced with significant challenges to
create and develop the competencies required for the newly competitive market. Dave Consulting, in a partnering relationship
with the client, helped the chicken by rethinking its physical distribution strategy and implementation processes. Using
the Poultry Integration Model (PIM), Dave helped the chicken use its skills, methodologies, knowledge, capital and experiences
to align the chicken's people, processes and technology in support of its overall strategy within a Program Management framework.
Dave Consulting convened a diverse cross-spectrum of road analysts and best chickens along with Dave consultants with deep
skills in the transportation industry to engage in a two-day itinerary of meetings in order to leverage their personal knowledge
capital, both tacit and explicit, and to enable them to synergize with each other in order to achieve the implicit goals of
delivering and successfully architecting and implementing an enterprise-wide value framework across the continuum of poultry
cross-median processes. The meeting was held in a bar-like setting, enabling and creating an impactful environment which was
strategically based, industry focused, and built upon a consistent, clear, and unified market message and aligned with the
chicken's mission, vision, and core values. This was conducive towards the creation of a total business.
LOUIS FARRAKHAN: The road, you see, represents
the black man. The chicken 'crossed' the black man in order to trample him and keep him down.
MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.: I envision a world
where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.
MOSES: And God came down from the Heavens, and
He said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much
FOX MULDER: You saw it
cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross the road before you believe it?
RICHARD M. NIXON: The chicken did not cross
the road. I repeat, the chicken did NOT cross the road.
MACHIAVELLI: The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who
cares why? The end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive there was.
JERRY SEINFELD: Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why
doesn't anyone ever think to ask, What the heck was this chicken doing walking around all over the place, anyway?"
FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned
that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
BILL GATES: I have just released the new Chicken Office 2011,
which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook.
OLIVER STONE: The question is not, "Why
did the chicken cross the road?" Rather, it is, "Who was crossing the road at the same time, whom we overlooked
in our haste to observe the chicken crossing?"
CHARLES DARWIN: Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that
they are now genetically disposed to cross roads.
ALBERT EINSTEIN: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved beneath the chicken depends
upon your frame of reference.
BUDDHA: Asking this question denies your own chicken nature.
RALPH WALDO EMERSON: The chicken did not cross the road... it
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die.
In the rain.
COLONEL SANDERS: I missed
CLINTON: I did not, and I repeat, did not have sexual relations with that chicken.
PAT BUCHANAN: To steal
a job from a decent, hard working American.
L.A.P.D.: Give us five minutes with the chicken and we'll find out.
DR. SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a
toad? Yes! The chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed, I've not been told!
GRANDPA: In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the
road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.
GEORGE W. BUSH:
The chicken crossed the road because he was an evil-doer, and we smoked him out of his hole and got him on
The Chicken heard from other chicks about "The Expert" that gives all the chicks his special cock with a tail.
Unfortunately he only has drinks , No male birds.